Adaptability - a most important word!

I frequently talk with people about what is helpful in moving to a new culture, starting a new life around
middle age or older. I think adaptability is the most important concept to consider.
     adaptable =able to adjust oneself readily to different conditions

This is not a word to skim over lightly if you are considering a move to any new culture or community with different values. Some values will be similar to things you may be used to but many will be different.  

I personally wonder how "plastic" or moldable the human personality is regarding being able to adapt.
It takes more than mental determination or an intent to be able to adjust oneself to new situations.  Can you change yourself to tolerate more than your usual comfort with new situations and major changes?  An acute awareness of the need to be adaptable is key in making a major life change.  This quality helps one survive a divorce, process loss of a loved one, rebound from losing a job and other challenges.  Having an ability to be flexible, find new ways to cope and a thirst for many challenges all feed into one's "adaptability". 

I have no way of estimating the number of Americans who move to Ecuador, buy property and within a year or two, decide it just is not right for them.  But it happens.  I  have seen some people make huge life changes to come to Cuenca and then be shocked at the cool nights, the prevalence of pick pockets in certain parts of the city, the lack of familiar conveniences that are common in Estados Unitos. Conveniences such as Jif peanut butter at a reasonable price, having a garbage disposer, missing the convenience of big box stores where so many things can be purchased in one stop, having a dishwasher, accepting that not every country has a post office that delivers mail in a reasonable amount of time (or at all), other issues reflecting your own interests and biases.

It is one thing to note the inconveniences and feel a little frustration, it is another to let it ruin your day, day after day.  Whether we live in Midtown America or a city in South America, we all complain and get frustrated from time to time. But these little things ruin the experience of some people and make life miserable. Take a careful, thoughtful look at yourself and see if you fall into the adventurous group or the group who want things to be the same as the US, only cheaper.

What I am suggesting is that it is important to consider inconveniences, such as those described in books, the press and the blogs on any new country you are thinking of moving to.  Think about how that may impact you.  Could you "roll with it" or would it get you seriously down? If you felt anger about some issue, could you handle it appropriately or would you expect your new place to be "a smaller version of the US" with all of the same rights but costing less?  Please do not think that you will change a whole culture to meet your needs.  It will be your job to adapt to the way things run in your new culture, should you move. are you ready for that?  Are you flexible enough?

Most important - evaluate yourself.  What are your hopes and dreams?  What are your goals in moving to a new culture?  Are they realistic?  Do tons of research.  And then do even tons more.  "Due diligence" is a fancy way of saying read everything you can on the blogs, in books,at the library, anywhere you can find a resource.  And beware of stories by people who have never lived in the culture about which they rave, be very cautious about people who have an agenda.  Study the weather patterns, the health care system, the local foods, common recreation. real estate, rental prices, hidden costs  -  and think over and over "am I being realistic in my dreams?  Will this be right for me?  Am I a person who is a risk taker and can be flexible in a new culture?" I know one couple who moved here sight unseen - BIG risk takers - but that is an unusual way to approach the issues of living abroad.
I asked them "What would you have done if you did not like it here (they LOVE Cuenca)?"
They both answered "move somewhere else!"  That is an adventurous spirit!


Second most important - visit.  Many people say visit more than once and as long as you can to get a sample of life there at different times of the year. A lot of people move to Cuenca, for example, expecting there to be long, balmy evenings with a late setting sun and hot sand.  Hmmmm...Cuenca is situated high in the Andes where it usually drops to around 40 degrees nearly every night of the year.  The sun sets about the same time every day of the year - near 6 pm.  There is no sandy beach at 8200 ft altitude.  Carefully research every aspect of life you can think of .
Consider what you would sacrifice to live in a new culture.  An example: I love the moderate weather here.  The chilly nights feel a little colder than I expected but I've adapted.  It helped that I read other blogs where people said they were buying an electric mattress heater or blanket. And there are beautiful alpaca jackets for $25. A little reality check. Yes, I miss the balmy evenings but there are so many other things I love here.  It is something I can adapt to. Next year, perhaps I'll visit the US in summer to get a taste of balmy evenings and hot pavement again.

And yet, I had not considered that I would miss the angle and deep gold color of the setting sun late on a summer evening, the long moderate Oregon August evenings, walking with bare feet on hot pavement and music floating on the cooling breeze.  Is that a deal breaker for me?  Certainly not.  But for some people, these type of things would contribute to unhappiness. And perhaps eventually returning to the US, feeling they failed.  


Of course, there is another way to look at this issue.  You could cut yourself some slack and say "I'm going to try living in another culture for xx months or a year.  Then I'll return to the US... or I may decide I want to stay or move to yet a different place."  


A couple of issues I want to touch on.  These are sensitive issues and I am not saying I know the answers.  I'm just bringing these up for you to investigate on your own and assess for yourself.


1) the state of life in Cuenca for physically handicapped people is not at all forward thinking.  Cobblestone streets and broken pavement are not friendly to wheel chairs.  Some of the sidewalks in old town are about 12 inches wide and pedestrians have virtually no rights in traffic. Buildings up to 4-5 stories tall do not need to have elevators.  Most houses and apartments do not have grab bars or other helpful conveniences in my experience.  Even single homes for older adults usually do not have simple adaptations to make life easier as you age, like grab bars and easy clearance into bathroom and entrance.

There is talk of building a retirement home with mixed types of housing where these sort of adaptations would be built in but...that is a way off.

2) The second issue
 Let me preface this by saying I am a feminist.  I have worked toward equality for women in the workplace and in university settings for about 40 years.  Having said that, consider the stereotype of some Latin American males looking differently at single women or a woman alone. It may be an accurate assessment of some people in Latin America. 

Investigate this for yourself.  Some people live here as single women and report no problems.  Yet a couple of women have told me of different incidents that caused each of them to return to the US.  One woman had her earrings pulled off in mid-day in a crowded market area  The earrings were from Walmart so it was not their value that was sought.  She felt it was an assault on her being an "unprotected" woman out on her own. 
I had a very minor but interesting incident where I was walking alone and workmen along the path stared hard at me and spoke to me - I did not understand the Espanol but but their tone and expressions were clear.  It made me recall walking by construction sites in 1970 where the same behavior and worse was evident. Whistling, leering, jeering were common at that time in US cities. Back to Cuenca and present day:  An hour later I walked that same path with my husband at my side.  The same workmen looked up and said "buenas tardes" in a respectful fashion, unlike their behavior half an hour before. I am not talking about all men, just a few who seem to practice certain behaviors that we saw in the US prior to 1980, behaviors that are more unusual in the US now.  Ecuador may be on a different time line in its own development of how to treat women or it may remain stable with the cultural values held for women.


Now remember these incidents can occur anywhere.  But consider the stereotype and investigate for yourself before making huge decisions like selling everything you own. 
And I want to say again that these are my thoughts and experiences reported to me.  I am not saying this is a problem across the board.  Some women have lived alone in Cuenca for years and have never had a difficult incident. I am not trying to be offensive or politically incorrect but I have said I would bring up difficult issues. 

I know people who live in New York City, take the subway, go out in the evening to concerts, jog in Central Park on busy week ends and never have had a problem with safety issues, although they do have good "street smarts" and are aware of their surroundings all the time. No big deal.

I also know people who would not even go to New York City because of fears about crime and safety.  Riding the subway would be so far out of their comfort zone...it would never happen.
So please, take the best and leave the rest.

Have a fantastic week end!
s 

Daily life bumps in Cuenca

Hey, if you have not thought of this, bring a kitchen timer.  I tossed ours in at the last minute but it has been a small item we use several times per day.  First of all, many ovens/stoves here do not have a clock or timer. Secondly, most people soak their vegetables and fruits in a mild cleaning solution to avoid intestinal issues so one needs a timer for that constantly.  It is a small thing but a handy thing to pack if you have one. Avoids spending money on a new one.

For me, living in Cuenca for a little over 4 months has been a mostly easy transition.  With a few bumps.  The biggest challenge for me is not being able to see my kids or grandchildren at regular intervals.  My son lives in San Diego with his wife and 2 children so when we lived in Oregon, we often saw them only 2-3 times per year.  Portland and San Diego are a long way apart. But I could count on those visits.  We would plan them and look forward to them and feel blue when each visit was over. Now that we live 4000 miles away, it is harder to plan.  From their perspective, school schedules, jobs and the business of managing a home with a large garden impact when they will visit us in Ecuador.

My daughter and her husband and pre-schooler live in The Dalles, a small town east of Portland. Len and I were delighted to see them about once every month or two.  We often cared for our grandson overnight once per month.  We LOVED that time.  We were there from his premature birth forward.  He just turned 3 years old.  We saw B often enough for him to really recognized us. He was only slightly shy with us at the beginning of each visit. I do not know when my daughter and her family will be able to visit Ecuador but I hope it will not be too long.  They too have a school schedule to maintain, jobs and working on their home... so maybe it will be next summer.  There there are my parents, the amazing 93 yr and 94 yr old, and my 3 brothers and their families many of whom live in the Boise, Idaho area.  It will be great to see them when we visit as soon as our cedulas are completed.

I will say once again, a major factor in me feeling confident and at home here is to learn to speak Espanol.  I am working on it but it will talk quite awhile before I can hold my own in even a simple conversation.  Once I am a little more able to speak the language of this city/country, I will venture out more frequently and really explore the surroundings.

It was very fortunate that I had discovered a hobby i really like.  I began quilting about 3 years ago and find it ever more absorbing.  I have begun to design my own wall hangings and quilts.  None are completed yet but one is about half done.  As usual, I have about 3 projects going at once so that I can move to another one if the first project seems to tire me or I get stuck.

It is very thoughtful that some people have written to ask how our 16 year old cat Feisty is doing.  Feisty is a pistol.  Sometimes, I'm told, cats are hesitant and have a very difficult time adapting to a new life style.  Feisty used to hunt a huge patch of orchard behind our country home.  Her specialty was the mouse family: voles, moles, shrews, mice and squirrels.  She seemed to leave wild birds alone which was nice.

We moved into this lovely Cuenca apartment where Feisty has no outside space at all but she just took charge of life here.  She is relaxed, has favorite sleeping spots but rotates them often, explores every inch of the apartment and asks very clearly for food if her bowl is not topped off.  It used to be when new people came to our two story home, she would disappear upstairs and not return until company had departed.  These days, if someone comes, she greets them with a loud but friendly meow, she follow them around to see what they are doing, uses her meow being "chatty" or demanding.  The second of those two vocalizations means she needs food, or at least her opinion is that she needs fresh food.

 

All of that summarizes my main bumps in adapting easily to live in Cuenca. Oh, except for one that is requiring a LOT of patience and mature behavior because there is truly nothing we can do to impact how fast this is done. I am referring to the cedula every immigrant requests to become a legal resident of Ecuador beyond the tourist visa of 90 days. Normally it takes about 90 days to complete.  We got all of our info to our attorneys in February but had to be here in person to submit the request, meaning we submitted everything May 16th.

A personal goal about moving to South America is that we had planned to visit the US every 6 mos or with our first visit planned for October, 2011.  However, we are still awaiting for receive residency to become legal so that we can leave the country without having to begin the process all over again.  We were told it would take 90 days?  A snafu in the Ecuadorian ministry that handles residency requests has resulted in hundreds of immigrants piled in a queue with no word of how long it will take. In addition, Ecuador has determined that each citizen (man woman and child) needs a new cedula now so there is a huge hubbub among people trying to get that accomplished.  So we may not be able to visit when we had hoped.  Or... our process may be completed suddenly in the next few days.  No one knows.  It is a little frustrating.   But this is part of living in a new country.one with different procedures and strengths, as well as some weak points.

The good news for people who are thinking of moving here: the residency process will hopefully be a bit improved for your applications. I'm told the department of immigration (i call it that, I'm not sure what the official name is) is installing a new computer system to upgrade the entire process.  Once that is completed, the steps may go more smoothly for people wanting to become residents of Ecuador.  I'm told that since August 1, any applicants need a criminal background check from your home country - others have blogged about this in more detail - in order to apply for residency. Some other blogs have discussed all the specifics.

On another note:
Today I plan to make some Thai fish appetizer rolls, a recipe in The Almond Cookbook. Except it will be our main dinner entree.  There are NO THAI RESTAURANTS in Cuenca.  This is a sad state for Lenny and me because we love Thai food.  I have not found any stores/tiendas that carry some of the basics of cooking Thai food: coconut milk is incredibly expensive here, and finding things like plum sauce or sweet chili sauce - well I've not been successful, yet.  I DID find fish sauce at a specialty spice and import shop located on Remigio Crespo, Canalaes is the tiny but packed tienda.  The fish sauce is good but a large bottle was $20!  Worth it to me to enable us to make our own Thai specialties and that bottle will probably last 5 years but I was shocked.  Its imported, clearly! 

My daughter-in-law in San Diego sent a care package with some brown rice flour and my favorite brand of chocolate chips as well as new tubes of Blistex.  It took a month to get here, going through Florida/where the international service Correos opens and inspects the package.   But it arrived. Hooray!!  Thank you Kathy!  Oh, and Pamela's brand of gluten free pancake mix for fun meals in a hurry.

My granddaughter E.C. helped weigh things because packages have to be under 8.8 pounds. She helped package them to be sent.  Part of a math project for a 3rd grader. She loves science and what makes things work. She collects rocks and has her own polisher.  Pretty cool, huh? She and her mom are talking about seeing if her class could befriend a class of 3rd graders here in Cuenca for some international sharing.

My grandson A.E. is playing soccer (football in South America and the rest of the world).  He went to a goalie clinic and wants to give that position a try.  He is 5!  But he is incredibly physically talented and has been since he could walk. He also loves to hop, jump and be on the move.

For the gluten intolerant readers, I was alaredy mixing some gluten free items to create a nice baking mix: Mandioca, a large, white-fleshed, and very nutritious tuber also called cassava or yucca, is native to the Amazon region and has been cultivated here for more than a thousand years. Its use as a staple spread as far north as Florida and to Africa, via Portuguese slave traders in the 16th Century.
Resembling a slightly gummy, subtly-sweet potato, mandioca can be boiled, fried, grated and transformed into fritters and hearty soups, or processed into meals and flours used in both sweet and savory baked goods. Tapioca comes from the same plant.

Also with the gluten intolerant readers in mind, I did a little research on arrowroot which has become more popular with the current popularity of almond flour to make foods suitable for gluten intolerant individuals. I have adapted the following info from theperfectpantry.com:

Arrowroot  in Espanol is arrurruz and is, in fact, a powder made from the ground root of a Marantha arundinacea, a plant indigenous to the West Indies. The starch is extracted from rhizomes that have been growing for 6-12 months. One explanation of how arrowroot got its name is that the Arawak Indians (who called it aru aru, meaning "food of food") used the starch to draw out the toxins from wounds made by poison arrows.

Considered easier on the stomach than other forms of starch, arrowroot contains calcium and carbohydrates (less than in cornstarch) as well as other nutrients, making it an effective digestive and nutrition aid. In many markets, arrowroot biscuit packaging now features happy, smiling babies on the box.
In the kitchen there are several advantages to using arrowroot.
First, it's a more powerful thickening agent than wheat flour. Substitute two teaspoons of arrowroot for one tablespoon of all-purpose flour. Half a tablespoon of cornstarch will give the same thickening power.
theperfectpantry.com said she usually substitutes one-for-one in recipes calling for cornstarch.
Second, arrowroot is flavorless and becomes clear when cooked. Unlike cornstarch, it doesn't taste like chalk when undercooked, and it doesn't dull the appearance of sauces, fruit gels or ice cream.
Third, arrowroot mixtures thicken at a lower temperature than mixtures made with flour or cornstarch, making it ideal for delicate sauces. Like cornstarch, arrowroot should be mixed thoroughly with a cold liquid before being added to hot mixtures.
 Penzeys.com sells arrowroot in the US, which can be a bit difficult to find in the supermarket but is readily available in health food stores. I believe Whole Foods carries it. I will warn you that it is expensive. Try using it instead of cornstarch or wheat flour in stew, gravy, stir fry cooking, thickening fruit sauces, etc.

The Almond Flour cookbook uses arrowroot in many of the recipes.
OK, that's all for today.

Wherever you are, have a fantastic day!
Sharon

Additional costs to moving

Tonight I'm thinking about my dad, Milt, who turns 94 years old on  9/10/2011.  Milt is amazing - he continues to live with my mother in the home they bought in the late 1940's.  They moved from York, Nebraska, US where they had both grown up to live outside of Caldwell, Idaho.  They had not visited first.  They knew no one except Milt had an uncle who had a farm to rent or sell. Milt had farmed through the dust bowl years in the midwest and the lure of irrigation water and plenty of it was strong.  The country was working its way through very difficult times, not unlike now.

They loaded everything into a railroad box car, including a new tractor and 2 heifers (young cows about to give birth for the first time), the dishes packed in flour in barrels. Dad rode on the boxcar for the 3 day trip to Idaho.  Uncle Jack met the train as it arrived in Caldwell.  They got things unloaded and the livestock set up with food and water for the night on the new farm. The next morning, one of the heifers had given birth to a healthy calf. What an arrival!

My mother traveled with a 2 yr old and 3 yr old (my older brothers) as her parents drove them to Idaho. My Gramma Eva had been very close to the children and was not at all happy with my parents moving their young family so far away. So my parents farmed and raised 4 children there. They continue to live there to this day. The house has been remodeled, renovated, improved and now has had adaptations made by my brothers for older adults to live comfortably.

When Lenny and I told my parents and brothers (and other extended family) we were moving to Cuenca, EC, my parents were not too happy.  It is understandable.  4700 miles is a loonnnnggggg way!  Skype calls help, regular magic jack calls are good too.  We hope to visit them in 1-2 months.  I understand their feelings... I long each day to see my grandchildren and kids.  I know it is now going to be more like 1 time each year that I will see them. I face the reality that my grandchildren will grow up not really knowing me and I cannot pop over from Portland on a $99 flight for a quick visit.  Yet, I also understand what drove my parents to strike out on a new path... .to make their way in the world as they saw best.  Just as Len and I have done in moving to Cuenca.

Milt in 2009 with great-grandson Blake, Tenley and Todd's son. Playing the harmonica followed.


So Happy Birthday to Milt.  You've been a good teacher, a wonderful parent, a great model of how to be both strong and gentle at once -  as a parent, a farmer, a community worker, a friend.  I have many stories I could tell of your humor, your strengths, your trials and triumphs but I will leave it at this.
Happy Birthday Dad! I love you.
Sharon

18 years of a journey unfolding...

Happy Anniversary and may even more interesting chapters reveal themselves.

Concluding a joyous week of social activities

 Hammocks on patio at Vilcabamba lodge.

Let's talk about money for a moment.  Ecuador is a primarily cash society -  credit or debit cards and checks are rarely accepted by everyday merchants for smaller items. Did you know that Ecuador is "dollar-ized", using the same currency as the US.  When you are here, US gold dollars (Sacajawea coins for example) are very popular, handy and in demand.  Ecuadorian 50 cent pieces are also commonly used each day.  There are many small merchants, taxi drivers and the bus fare - all require small coins.  Well, the bus is only 25 cents so quarters are great also.

If you are reading this in the US, you may recall the quarters from each state that some of us carefully collected?  Those are very popular here too! And those books that hold one quarter for each state - Cuencanos love to collect that whole assortment and have a difficult time locating one of those quarter books. If you are moving to Cuenca and can find any of those "quarter books", it will help you break the ice here with some merchant, such as the video store owner or the leather hat maker. The children often are collecting the state quarters. You will make acquaintances quickly if you can give away a cardboard quarter book.

A twenty dollar bill, that standard of daily life in the US, is nearly useless.  You need change, MAN, and small change at that!  And you may need to go to the bank during open hours to get lots of small change.  If you are coming from another country soon, I recommend bringing as much US change as you feel comfortable carrying.  My esposo (spouse) thought I was wacky before we moved when I got 3 rolls of quarters, 2 rolls of dimes and one of nickles as we left the US.  Also a big wad of $1 bills is practical as most merchants can make change for a dollar. Definitely carry on items.

One day we were at an organic market where all the merchants were farmers.  A large cabbage was a dime. A bucket of potatoes was 50 cents. A large bunch of swiss chard was a nickle.  You get the picture. My esposo bought an item for 10 cents and gave the merchant 50 cents.  The merchant asked if he had anything smaller.  It is understandable. This is a cash society but many products are priced well under a dollar so they need to collect and hang on to the smaller coins to make change throughout their sales day. At the indigenous markets and organic produce markets it is good to have a pocketful of dimes, quarters and a few nickels with a few bills in case you buy something much larger.

This is my 93 yr old mom, Maxine, in Idaho with a lap quilt I made for her a year ago.  She and my dad just celebrated 71 years of marriage!

This morning we are out of fruit. This is the first time it has happened in 4 months!  Lenny says he must go buy fresh fruits and veggies so that he can continue to explore his wonderous ways with pitajaya and other tropical fruits in smoothies.  The last one he made had pineapple, tangerine, papaya, pitajaya and just a little cheramoya. And some pina coco yogurt (pina colada). It was heavenly with many delicate flavors teasing the tongue.  I personally love the pulp of guayaba  - guava (which one can find in the frozen section at grocery stores called "pulpa") to add a little at a time.  There are many combinations and permutations to be explored  - Len frequently brings home an unknown fruit to try in a new smoothie. It is 10 am and he is heading out now to get some provisions.

We are taking a van to the famed Vilcabamba gorgeous valley of the centaurians (later disproved but a good myth, nonetheless) later this week to read in hammocks, hike, maybe ride horses, get a massage. It is a lower altitude and quite tropical, south of Cuenca toward the Peruvian border.  Honoring18 years we've been married.

 This week we had several opportunities to meet with other ex-pats in various settings.  It is very pleasant, chatting about our search for the right place to live, exchanging stories of our lives before moving to Ecuador, comparing and recommending tiendas, restaurants, Spanish classes, where to locate a hard-to-find item. And it is surprising to me that friendships can begin to form so easily among ex-patriots. Retired people have more time to socialize, ex-pats enjoy hearing the stories of others, people enjoy a good meal and telling their own experience, etc.

Lightly sauteed carrots, beets, garlic, onion and pepper

Len and I also had a wonderful evening with two Cuencano families who have sort of adopted us.  It is such a delight to be with them.  There are always 3 generations present and all give the wonderfully warm Cuenca greeting of a gentle hug and air kiss to the cheek, even if we are meeting this particular family member for the first time.  The children and teens sweetly and willingly participate.  The rule of these evenings is to speak Espanol only so I am language challenged.  However a couple of the young women in the family help out with translation.  Everyone is patient with my basic struggles with a new language.  My next round of classes begins in 8 days. Hooray!

Here is a shot of Len with a few of the grandchildren transfixed by things he showed them on the IPad.

Have a terrific week.  For  many of you, your children are returning to school this week. When my children were young, it always brought a little sadness along with the excitement and joy of a new year of exploration for the children.
Happy September!

Sharon